We knew it would happen…we had heard others stories and knew that there would be days when it would be difficult…more than difficult, really hard…giving up hard.
Why were we so surprised when it came?
We heard over and over when we started this journey that we would face spiritual warfare like never before…so we knew to expect it. But it is still hard and really shocks us how it catches us off guard even when we are watching for it.
We know that this is just the first round of discouragement…adoption is a long, hard road that the enemy fights with all his might. We have always known there would be many of those days…likely much worse than these, so we are going to count them here so we will remember how the Lord brought us through them.
One of the first things we said when the call to adoption of older children came was that this was not going to be easy…not for us, or the children. We want to learn from the tough days and be stronger in our faith from them. There is always growth when we look back from the other side of hard times with a fresh perspective.
The discouragement had been building. The enemy knows where we are most tender…in the uncertainty about which children. There have been many unexpected uncertainties in recent months. When we learned on Sunday that another family is pursuing adoption of the unrelated boy it hit hard. Like a ton of bricks. We are still uncertain what God would have us do in this and are praying for clear direction.
The questions we are praying through…
What if we back away and the other family does not come? He ages out of the orphanage in a very few months, this is likely his last chance.
Are they pursuing only this one child and will drop their adoption if we adopt him before they arrive?
If so, if we walk away and take another child then one more will have a family.
We’ve sorted it all out over the past 48 hours…prayed without ceasing…talked it through…and the Lord has brought that amazing peace that passes understanding that He is in control and will make the path straight. We have been blessed to follow the blogs of many families on this journey and have a wealth of photos and information about other available children. One thing is sure, this story is getting more suspenseful as it unfolds. But we know the Author and we know that His ways are higher than our ways.
We have weathered the storm and are on the other side of the discouragement now…we know God called us to this and we will follow…and there is peace, even in the not knowing. We have much of our dossier prepared and will be mailing it soon for translation and submission on February 15. We covet your prayers for God’s direction to the children He has for us.